This week we have an interesting look at public access to Alaskan waters, some safety tips, and a dumb crook incident involving a chicken coop. Our dumb crooks can’t always compete with Florida Man, mostly due to our much smaller population (although we have our share of crazy bush rats), but now and then we see a gem.
Let’s go!
Alaska’s waters for Alaskans. It’s been a problem forever, as long as there have been private parcels of land adjacent to public access to waterways; in this case, it’s Benka Lake, near Talkeetna, and so far the public access side is prevailing.
On May 31, a state judge ordered Jan and Britta Brunz to temporarily remove a fence blocking public access to Benka Lake, in Talkeetna. The fence, built by the Brunzes in 2022 in an attempt to close a longstanding public access point to the lake, has been a topic of bitter controversy in the community since it was erected in 2022, and was the subject of a lawsuit filed in 2023.
Last week’s injunction ordering the removal of the fence marks a significant victory for Friends of Benka Lake and the State of Alaska, who are jointly suing to restore the public access point, though the legal status of the fence ultimately will not be decided until the conclusion of the trial.
So far, so good. Alaska’s Fish and Game Department has long taken the position that public waters require public access; we’ll have to say how the trial turns out, but I’m optimistic. One day soon we will have to haul our old canoe up to Benka Lake and check it out for ourselves.
Alaska Man score: Hard to apply here, but we’ll give the Brunz’s a -5 moose nuggets for their d-baggery, while the Friends of Benka Lake and the State of Alaska get a +5 moose nuggets for standing up for Alaskan access to Alaskan waters.
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Ice Out!
This is cool; watch the ice actually breaking away from the shore in Nome.
Early in the morning on May 28, the landfast ice finally broke away from the shore and the Port in Nome, as can be seen in the radar imagery from the Sea Ice Group at the Geophysical Institute at University of Alaska Fairbanks. The Port of Nome usually plans on its ice-free season around the end of May or June 1; this opening up of the water in Norton Sound and the Bering Sea is right on schedule.
Summer comes late to Alaska, but that just makes it all the more welcome. Nome is one of the Great Land’s more remote towns, but I hear it’s worth a visit (and, yeah, we haven’t been there yet).
Alaska Man score: 5 moose nuggets, because summer, and this is cool.
Top six ways to stay safe outdoors in Alaska.
We’ve covered some of this ground before. I always describe the Great Land with three words: Vast, wild, and free – but it’s a place where folks who aren’t properly prepared can run into trouble, and the vast wild places will kill you if you lack the respect and preparedness that they deserve.
Alaska is a state that offers unparalleled access to outdoor spaces and recreation, and with summer now here, many Alaskans are heading out on adventures.
To help prepare for the season, we spoke with outdoor safety instructors Deb Ajango and Luc Mehl on Talk of Alaska about their tips for staying safe outside. (Listen to the full episode here.) We also asked our listeners and readers for their advice, and we heard from many of you.
Alaska Man score: 3.5 of 5 moose nuggets; props to MustReadAlaska for the caution, and demerits to the people who will ignore it.
And, finally, a dumb crook: Yes, a chicken coop.
On 6-8-24, Delta Junction AST received a report of a domestic violence incident. It was reported one individual had attempted to burn down a chicken house after an argument had ensued. While the individual was making efforts to start the process of burning the coop, the other individual went into the chicken house with a five month old child in an attempt to stop the other. During this time, one individual was punched by the other after they had been locked in the chicken house since the door only latched externally.
This looks like a cavalcade of stupidity, including getting locked in a chicken coop; think about the logistics of this, and the only conclusion we can arrive at is that the chicken coop door latches automatically when the door swings shut.
If you’re familiar with chicken coops, bear in mind the usual smell; that, indeed, should be considered part of the punishment for this dumb crook.
Alaska Man score: 1.5 of 5 moose nuggets. Big demerits for endangering a kid. That’s just hateful.
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Now, a short video treatise on chores, flamethrowers, and dandelion wine.
