Here’s something no one had on their 2024 bingo card:
Barney is back.
Barney, the purple dinosaur loved and loathed with equal fervor from his 1992 television debut until 2010, when he slipped away almost unnoticed from the airwaves, returned on February 14. Let it be known history captured the moment via a medium that was little known when Barney took his initial leave, namely online video.
Barney, who is to clade dinosauria what Bruno is to the Madrigal family, notified those whose recollections of him remain undrenched with blood-curdling screams that during his time out of the spotlight, he apparently became quite intrigued with fellow monster Roz from “Monsters Inc.,” who as you will recall was prone to remind her coworkers that she was watching, always watching.
Hoo-HOO! Hi friends! It’s me — Barney!
I haven’t seen some of you in a long time. But I always make sure to check in on my friends.
And, it seems like maybe we could all use a little reminder right now …
… a reminder of the super-dee-duper ability we all have to love one another. And how important it is to show love toward yourself, too.
After a long day on the playground of life, I want you to know …
you are seen.
You are special.
You are loved.
Isn’t it nice how some things are still true, even when you’re all grown up? Ho-HO!
Well, friends, it’s been stupendous to see you all! And I have a feeling I’ll be seeing you all again soon.
Especially if Mattel has its way, given how the toy behemoth is backing Barney’s return.
While to more than a few, the purple dinosaur’s return is naught but a convenient excuse to consume vast quantities of fermented juice from purple grapes at the thought of sitting through daily doses of that song …
… one has to wonder whether, in today’s world, Barney being back is such a bad thing.
Granted, Barney often comes off as a preschool prosperity gospel preacher. Think it, believe it, say it, be it. Would that it was so easy. It isn’t, of course, at least to Realville residents. There is the contemporary specter of people continuing to pretend and fantasize they are what they wish themselves to be long after maturity’s onset should have dispelled such illusions. Regrettably, an alarmingly large portion of modern society has never let their personal Bing Bong fade away. This being Barney’s fault is debatable at best, given how a political class far more omnipresent than Barney has devoted decades to telling generations they are not responsible for their behavior, thus are whatever they pretend to be and are entitled to whatever they desire to have. Barney is about sharing and caring. It is a refreshing change from what we so often see these days.
Nevertheless, for those for whom the Purple One’s return is the stuff of nightmares, the news is grim.
In the video, Barney also says that he has a feeling he’ll be seeing kids again soon. Barney is coming back to screens later this year with Barney’s World, an animated kids series that is headed to Max later this year. A live-action Barney movie with Daniel Kaluuya is also in development.
A line of toys and products including books and apparel is also on the way for later this year.
Be afraid. Be very afraid. Or not.
