So I first need to get something out of the way before we continue. Is it just me, or does Vermont “Democrat Socialist” Senator Bernie Sanders look like he brushes his hair with a balloon, or what? 

Anyway, Sanders announced on Monday he will run for reelection in November, squashing speculation that he might retire at a time when the Democrat Party is freaking out big time about the age of its leaders. 

As is the left’s current fave thing to do, Sanders framed his reelection campaign announcement as part of a larger effort to stop Donald Trump from winning another term as president of the United States— as hyperbolically as he could.

Will the United States continue to even function as a democracy, or will we move to an authoritarian form of government?  [Can we reverse] the unprecedented level of income and wealth inequality?

I have been, and will be if re-elected, in a strong position to provide the kind of help that Vermonters need in these difficult times.

Memo to Bernie: The “difficult times” of which you speak have occurred during the more than three years Joe Biden has been in the White House, not Donald Trump — and we’ll get to the “wealth inequality” thing in a minute.

And what Bernie diatribe would be complete without a hyperbolic riff about “climate change”? 

Together, we must continue to combat climate change by transforming our energy system away from fossil fuel and into energy efficiency and sustainable energy. I’m proud that I was able to bring $62 million into the state to help our people afford solar panels for their rooftops, and additional money for heat pumps. But that is not enough. This is a global crisis. We must work with every country on earth to cut carbon emissions and save the planet for our kids and future generations.

Sanders’s announcement was boring as hell— but here you go, if you’re so inclined.

“We are living in a complicated and difficult political moment,” Sanders told The Associated Press, as he threw Israel under the bus by adding: “I very strongly disagree with Biden in terms of the war in Gaza.”

Sanders continually took shots at Trump, whom he described as “the most dangerous president in American history.” Disingenuous nonsense aside, one has to wonder what criteria Sanders uses to define a “dangerous president.” 

Joe Biden’s intentionally-caused illegal alien crisis? Stubborn inflation that continues to crush tens of millions of hardworking Americans monthly? Biden’s mess in the Middle East and the everlasting war in Ukraine? Or, perhaps on-demand abortion until the moment of birth? The list is long, Bernie, please elaborate. 

Yes, tell us more about the authoritative armageddon that would occur if Donald Trump beats the worst president in at least modern history in November. We’re all ears.

Wait— I almost forgot. 

While Sanders railed against “the rich,” he forgot to mention that his estimated net worth in 2023 was roughly $3 million. He made $2.5 million between 2011 and 2023 from book advances and royalties alone. 

(File under: “What’s good for me is not good for thee.”)

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