It is time for a new round of nominations for nefarious news nonsense! In recognizing the efforts of press unprofessionalism, journalistic sloth, and generally deserved media mockery, we nominate the efforts for end-of-the-year honors. To commemorate that past of muckraking reporting and shoe leather investigation, we have created The Golden Remington Awards. Our trophy honors the olden days when hard-scrabble hacks committed actual journalism and hammered out dispatches on those hefty wordsmith devices.
Throughout the year, we compile some of the most fractured examples of journalism, nominating them for the uncoveted dishonor of “winning” our undistinguished Remmy Award. At the end of the year, we recognize the greats by gathering examples in a number of categories and judiciously choosing the deserving performances. Here are the latest nominees for The Remmys.
Distinguished Explanatory Reporting
It is always magnificent to watch an elitist in the media speak condescendingly on a topic while getting things completely factually incorrect. In speaking to Secretary of State Marco Rubio over the comments made by Vice President JD Vance to European leaders regarding the manner in which they clamp down on the right to free speech in some countries, Brennan made quite the statement:
“He was standing in a country where free speech was weaponized to conduct a genocide.”
This is just a reminder that in America, pointing and laughing is considered a form of free expression.
This is being shared everywhere, and it should be, because it’s historically illiterate, antagonistic to a fundamental value, and done so condescendingly from a highly paid “news” desk.
CBS Margaret Brennan blames free speech for the Holocaust.
pic.twitter.com/hRGvVuvjE4— Will Cain (@willcain) February 16, 2025
Distinguished Breaking News
When the news came out that Donald Trump had fired the board of The Kennedy Center, there was quite the outcry. We think. That is, we were told that a number of “stars” were quitting in various roles they had, such as advisors and the like. This was presented as dire news.
But what really drove home the point that the changeover in leadership was bad was the way that dozens of protestors had been bussed in so they could protest by performing an interpretive dance.
NPR covered the Kennedy Center dance protest. pic.twitter.com/ULWppE2QpT
— John Keltz (@keltz_) February 26, 2025
Distinguished National News
Want to know why DOGE cuts led to the punchline that a locksmith would be put out of work? Credit to Maxine and Andrea here. They were the ones to report how Trump’s budget cuts were leading to the dismissal of the ONLY man in Yosemite National Park with all the keys and how this was going to lead to the tragedy of visitors becoming locked in restrooms with no hope of rescue.
Long lines and canceled rentals: Firings bring chaos to national parks https://t.co/f2BKbvE1Us
— Washington Post Travel (@WaPoTravel) February 19, 2025
Distinguished Sports Reporting
Amid all of the intracontinental conflict involving the Syrupean nation to our north one component has been hockey great Wayne Gretzky having a favorable relationship with Donald Trump. The longtime sports columnist Terry Jones was one of the voices who felt as if he rests in some sort of position of authority from which he can demand that The Great One answer for his support of the U.S. president.
What these demands never fail to live up to is the rather simple and yet withering question: “And, if he doesn’t…then what?”
I authored books on Wayne Gretzky. I covered him for a decade in Edmonton in the WHA and NHL and extensively after he departed. I have viewed him as the greatest player in history and as a great Canadian. He needs to face the nation and explain his relationship with Donald Trump.
— Terry Jones (@byterryjones) February 21, 2025
Distinguished Cultural Commentary
We do not want to suggest that the current crop of emerging adults is considered The Softest Generation; instead, we prefer to show evidence that this is the case. At CNBC they detail how this crowd, which practically lives on their phones, has an anxiety to using their phones for their designed purpose — that is, taking phone calls.
The noted tech-savvy kids are apparently experiencing “telephobia,” the fear felt regarding the making of or the receiving of phone calls. There are classes now being established to teach the young’uns how to engage in the “lost art of making telephone calls.”
Gen Z battling with phone anxiety are taking telephobia courses to learn the lost art of a call https://t.co/aR7FkfmTYk
— CNBC (@CNBC) February 17, 2025
Distinguished Local Reporting
Who has not been in this position in the morning at one time? A toddler from the town of Moore, Oklahoma, got ahold of a flip phone (that, for some reason,n was still charged) and dialed the 911 dispatcher. Though not connected to a phone service or the internet, the older models are able to still contact emergency services.
So, with the phone in hand, the lad took matters into his own hands – he had a donut emergency. After having a conversation about his plight, the police took appropriate action and arrived at the home the next day – with a dozen delivered to the tyke.
🔊”EMERGENCY DONUTS!” Listen to this adorable 911 call to @MoorePolice from a toddler with an old phone.
***REMINDER- old cell phones can still reach 911 in an emergency. @OKCFOX https://t.co/P0mAOrkPo2 pic.twitter.com/6bJo9kg1Fc— Wendy Suares📺 (@wsuares) February 27, 2025
Distinguished International Reporting
There is this insistence in the press that the transgender community become elevated above others for some reason. Case in point, look at this coverage seen in the AP. If there is any group gathering of folks who are going to take cooking classes, most people would be struck by a reaction akin to not giving a damn. But for some reason, the news syndicate saw fit to inform us that in Pakistan, trans individuals are finding nobility in attending culinary school.
Pakistan’s transgender community finds hope and dignity at a culinary school https://t.co/rkD7qYhREJ
— The Associated Press (@AP) February 26, 2025
The Silver Ricecake Platter (Award for Content-free Reporting)
Questions abound, of course, when it comes to a couple turning to the press with the details of their sex life, and it surrounds the man being blessed with a micropenis. Many will wonder, how was the guy okay with going public with such an intimate detail? (Our bet: It was the punishment for finishing last in his fantasy football league.)
But the bigger question (phrasing) would be what type of an editor saw fit to approve this as valid reporting for their outlet?
‘I have a micropenis but my girlfriend loves it and our sex is great – I swear’https://t.co/im1rVAQxOw pic.twitter.com/jce99TZ4sQ
— Daily Star (@dailystar) February 28, 2025
