Social skills. A phrase which is widely used, but what does it really mean? Simply put, it’s the ability to interact effectively with others. From expressing our feelings to fostering relationships, these skills are essential for navigating the world. While some children may struggle to master social skills, many adults also find social interactions challenging. In this article, we will look at strategies for teaching these vital skills to children and offer advice for adults looking to enhance their own social abilities.
Why Teach Social Skills?
Developing social skills is an experiential process, not a natural ability. We learn through observations, experiences, and interactions. The many responses available to us, to a simple question like “Hello, how are you?” depend on factors such as:
- Personal awareness
- The other person’s feelings
- Context of the situation
- Language proficiency
- Ability to read body language and facial expressions
- Understanding humour, mockery, and sarcasm
- Tone of voice
Since there’s no single correct way to respond in social situations, teaching social skills involves navigating a multitude of socially acceptable behaviours, which vary across cultures and personal preferences.
Children need help developing their skills over time and in increasingly complex situations. They need to observe, practice, and receive feedback to master these skills.
Benefits Of Developing Good Social Skills
Research shows that children with strong social skills have several advantages over their peers with less developed skills. Long-term benefits include:
- Better relationships and stronger friendships
- Greater success in life
- Reduced stress and anxiety
- Decreased reliance on social assistance
- Lower risk of substance misuse
For young children, specific advantages include:
- Improved social and emotional vocabulary
- Ability to share and take turns
- Enhanced empathy
- Better management of complex emotions
- Resilient friendships
- Calmness in challenging moments
Conversely, poor social skills can lead to difficulties such as:
- Avoidance of eye contact
- Struggles with meaningful connections
- Inability to express desires
- Challenges with small talk and interpreting social cues
- Feelings of isolation and awkwardness
The good news is that social skills can be taught and learned at any age, making early years settings ideal for this instruction.
What Social Skills Can Be Taught?
Social skills span a wide range of abilities, often categorised into groups such as:
- Communication skills: Active listening, speaking, appropriate language use
- Self-awareness skills: Understanding one’s own emotions and asking for support
- General awareness skills: Reading body language, developing empathy
- Friendship/relationship skills: Making, developing, and maintaining friendships
- Social knowledge skills: Knowing what to do in different situations
- Confidence skills: Assertiveness, self-confidence, and independence
Teaching Social Skills To Children
General Principles
1. Focus on One Skill at a Time: Start small and build up, creating a learning ladder to guide children through their progress.
2. Model and Actively Teach the Skill: Children learn by observing adults and peers. Use proactive lessons and resources like social stories, drama, and role-play.
3. Practice the Skill: Provide opportunities for children to practice with others, building confidence through repeated efforts.
4. Give Constructive Feedback: Offer specific feedback on behaviours and link it to desired values. Remember to praise effort rather than outcomes.
5. Use Opportunistic Situations: Reinforce lessons during daily interactions and activities.
Games, Lessons, And Ideas
Communication Skills
- Listening: Use different sounds, read stories with comprehension checks, and play memory games like the shopping game.
- Speaking: Encourage conversations, give topics for short talks, and use pair and share sessions.
- Eye Contact: Gradually introduce eye contact through games and mirror activities.
Self-awareness Skills
- Use emotion cards, the Blob Tree, and consistent labelling of feelings to build emotional vocabulary.
- Help children recognise emotions in others with activities like identifying feelings from emojis and discussing characters in stories.
Friendship/Relationship Skills
- Teach teamwork through games and activities.
- Encourage friendship-building with buddy systems and group categorisation games.
- Read books about friendships and role-play scenarios.
Social Knowledge Skills
- Explain social situations using social stories and role-play.
- Teach skills like sharing, table manners, and personal space through practical activities.
Confidence Skills
- Build self-esteem by allowing children to try things independently and learn from mistakes.
- Use drama and role-play to practice confidence, independence, and assertiveness.
Special Needs Education
Children with special educational needs may struggle more with social skills. In these cases, work closely with parents and seek specialist advice if necessary. Tools like the Zones of Regulation and Blob Tree can be especially helpful.
Enhancing Social Skills in Adults
Many adults can also benefit from improving their social skills. Strategies for adults include:
- Self-help books
- Online courses and videos
- Specialist services (e.g., Speech and Language Therapy)
- Individual training and coaching
- Group or team training events
Social skills are essential throughout life, and it’s never too late or too early to start learning or enhancing these skills.
Conclusion
Teaching and learning social skills are a continuous process that benefit individuals at any stage of life. Whether working with young children in early years settings or helping adults improve their interactions, the principles and strategies outlined in this article provide a foundation for forging strong social skills that contribute to overall well-being and success.
