What Is A Sense Of Self And Why Is It Important?
A person’s sense of self begins to form from birth and continues to evolve as they mature, and can be adapted and changed even into adulthood. It develops as we learn to understand our own authentic self, as someone who is separate and different from others, with unique abilities, preferences and characteristics. If children feel valued, loved and listened to, it is easier for them to see those traits within themselves. If children do not feel understood or heard, it can affect their trust and relationships later in life.
A strong sense of self is not about thinking of yourself as better than other people, but about understanding your right to your own ideas, beliefs and preferences, and appreciating your own special gifts and talents and the contribution you can make to the wider world. And hopefully, appreciating and allowing everyone else’s unique values and contributions in a diverse and tolerant world too.
People with a strong sense of self tend to be less influenced by others and can often make confident decisions based on what is right for them. A sense of self is closely tied to self-esteem and people with a strong, positive sense of self usually have good self-esteem too.
Conversely, people who struggle to understand their own values or have difficulty in asserting them, often have poorer self-esteem and look to others for guidance and validation more often.
What The EYFS Framework Says
The EYFS encourages the development of strong, warm and supportive relationships between children and adults, enabling children to learn how to understand their own feelings and those of others. Early years practitioners should support children to manage their emotions and develop a positive sense of self and there are several ways to do this in any early years setting. The government has published some advice for practitioners about developing a sense of self that you can access at: Help for early years providers : Sense of self (education.gov.uk).
We’ve listed some things that you can do as settings and practitioners:
- Create a safe and nurturing environment
Ensure that all children in your setting feel safe and secure in their surroundings. A stable environment encourages them to explore and express themselves freely because they are not scared of experimenting or repercussions. - Build strong and supportive relationships
This is crucial because it is the foundation on which most of children’s learning is based. Strong, supportive relationships show children that that they are valued and understood. Make the time to connect with each child, ask about how they feel, check in with them regularly and show an interest in the things they are doing. Actively listen to what they say and really take the time to understand what they are trying to communicate. - Encourage self-expression
Being able to articulate feelings is vital but remember that for early years children, they often do not have the vocabulary or physical and verbal skills to express this like an adult or older child might. This does not mean that they don’t feel their emotions, however, because they do. They just have different ways of expressing them as they learn what emotions are and how to express them safely. Provide children with a variety of ways to express their thoughts and feelings. This could be through mark-making, drawing, building or creating things, art, drama, singing and dance. Role-play and stories are also useful ways to help children in this area. Listen carefully to what they say, validate their emotions and make sure you don’t dismiss things as ‘silly’ or not important. Remember to always try to see the world through the child’s eyes so that you can better understand their view of the world as they learn more about it. This helps children feel listened to and respected and that what they think and feel matters. - Promote independence and decision-making
Allow children chances to choose their own ideas and preferences. This could be as simple as choosing which book to read, to giving them a choice over a snack or drink, but it teaches them that what they want is important and they have the right and ability to choose those things. Give them tasks which encourage experimentation and allow decision-making such as building towers, creating obstacle courses or playing with different objects in water. This teaches them that there are consequences to some decisions which can be positive and achieve their outcome, or less so if they do not achieve their goal with their first idea. - Celebrate individuality
This should be a joyous part of each setting’s ethos – to recognise and celebrate each child’s unique qualities and achievements. Everyone has something to contribute, and these values should be positively reinforced and celebrated routinely. You can do this by celebrating different religious festivals, acknowledging different languages and cultures, cooking foods from different regions around the world. Encourage and celebrate children’s achievements outside of the setting, be that in a dance class, Judo class or helping in the environment in a litter pick. Make sure that all children feel that they are accepted for who they are, and actively promote inclusion and diversity in your setting. - Model positive behaviours
Children learn by observing and copying, so make sure that you and other practitioners are modelling the behaviours and attitudes you want to encourage. If staff feel that they do not have a voice, then it will be difficult to teach the children that their own voice matters. Encourage open discussions within your setting so that staff can express their own individuality and ideas too. Make sure that all your interactions with children show empathy and understanding, listening to and validating the children’s ideas.
Helping children develop a sense of self is a rewarding and essential part of early childhood education. Remember that every interaction you have is an opportunity to reinforce their sense of self and help them become confident, self-aware individuals.
