Greetings from the sports desk located somewhere below decks of the Good Pirate Ship RedState. We start with noting a personnel move, as Karl the Kraken has moved on to explore other opportunities. Assuming you call a South Sea sultry squid named Serendipity an opportunity. Anyway, as you can tell, Sammy the Shark is heartbroken over the departure …
Okay, he’s ecstatic over no longer having to share his fish crackers.
Anyway, sports news, starting with college football. ’Tis the weekend for conference championship games, and to quote a line from a Super Chicken cartoon, tension fills the air like peanut brittle. Topping the bill, Georgia takes on Texas in the NFL Jr. Conference, otherwise known as the SEC. The game is being played in Atlanta, which seems like a nice neutral site. Atlanta and Athens, Georgia, where Uga reigns supreme, are some 70 to 80 miles apart, depending on your transportation mode. Austin, Texas, where Bevo is boss, and Atlanta are some 950 miles apart in driving distance. That’s quite the cattle drive.
There is no word on whether the two teams will bring their mascots, given that the last time they tried it, Bevo tried to turn Uga into a salt lick.
Never forget when Bevo tried to end Uga’s career pic.twitter.com/W07Yg0GC2k
— Bussin’ With The Boys (@BussinWTB) October 18, 2024
This will be the second meeting between the Bulldogs and the Longhorns this year, Georgia taking the first match rather handily 30-15. Both teams are playing far more for postseason seeding than any concerns about missing the playoffs, as well as to quiet the critics asserting neither is championship material. Georgia lost to Alabama and Ole Miss, each with three losses on the year, while Texas has the loss to Georgia on their debit sheet. But that’s what the expanded college playoffs are for. There is more opportunity for fans to argue over choices made by selection committee knuckleheads.
The other conference championship game of note is the renewal of the legendary Penn State-Oregon rivalry for the Big Ten title. The Ducks are the only major college team whose record remains clean and pristine, so a win by them cements them as favorites to take it all when the feathers and fur clear. I’d be remiss were I not to mention Clemson and SMU in the ACC championship — yes, I am quite aware Cal isn’t playing this weekend, thank you — in a game that means way more to Clemson than SMU, as should the Tigers lose the selection committee will undoubtedly bounce them out of the playoffs. It’s the same for whoever comes out with the low score from the Big 12 championship game, featuring a rivalry even more storied than the Nittany Lions and the Ducks … the Cyclones of Iowa State versus the Sun Devils of Arizona State. There’s no need to throw out the record books; they’ll blow away on their own if a butterfly sneezes on them due to the lack of content.
Moving to baseball, seldom in the course of human events has one athlete worked so hard to earn the enmity of not one but two fan bases than Blake Snell. First, he won a Cy Young Award, his second, in 2023 while pitching for the San Diego Padres. He then decided to enter free agency, thus incurring the wrath of Padres fans. He signed with the Padres’ divisional rivals, the San Francisco Giants, a team disliked by Friars fans second only to the Los Angeles Dodgers; more on them later. Snell has a somewhat less-than-stellar 2024 season with the Giants, although he did throw a no-hitter. Snell then declined his player option for 2025 with the Giants to sign with … the Dodgers. Snell then proceeded to indirectly throw shade at the Giants and Padres.
“It was really easy, just because me and [partner] Haeley wanted to live here,” Snell said of his decision to join the Dodgers. “It’s something we’ve been talking about for a while. And when you look at the team, you look at what they’ve built, what they’re doing, it’s just something you want to be a part of. Look at the first three hitters in the lineup. It’s tough to go against. So to be on the other side and know they’re going to be hitting for me, it’s pretty exciting.”
I can hardly wait for the first Dodgers-Giants series at Oracle Park in 2025, should Snell be scheduled to pitch. The scene there when the Dodgers and Giants play already conjures visions of long ago and the Roman Coliseum should the Christians and lions have gathered in the middle of the arena to tell the fans together to cool it. Guaranteed, the first time Snell takes the mound in Dodgers blue, the place is gonna be LIT. Complete with burning effigies in McCovey Cove.
And yes, Sammy, we’ll mention hockey, starting with noting the Sharks have won three games in a row. While no one is printing playoff tickets for Los Tiburones de San José, the Sharks are trending in the right direction behind young guns Macklin Celebrini and Will Smith. After the drudgery of the past few years, I’ll take it.
Last, the WNBA. The league that can’t get out of its own way has done it again, this time in the name and logo for its Toronto expansion franchise scheduled to begin play in 2026. Brace yourself …
Introducing @TempoBasketball
Tip-off 2026. pic.twitter.com/59M2V11Li0
— WNBA (@WNBA) December 5, 2024
Somewhere, a junior high school graphics teacher is weeping over his or her students, thinking this is all it takes to make the big time.
