With the rise of AI companions who serve as online friends or romantic interests, experts are questioning how the technology affects our real-world social connections and relationships.
According to Kasley Killam, author of the social health-focused book “The Art and Science of Connection: Why Social Health Is the Missing Key to Living Longer, Healthier, and Happier,” there may be some benefits to using AI as a tool to practice social interactions, but the technology should only be used to augment, not replace, our personal relationships and real-world connections.
On Friday, the social health expert and graduate of the Harvard School of Public Health explained during a panel at the SXSW conference in Austin that she was skeptical that AI could improve people’s social skills.
She noted that AI companies will often tout the benefit of using their AI companions as a way for people to practice conversations and other social skills for use in the real world.
“That may be true,” she said, but she warned that this type of practice should not replace real-world connections.
“I want to have a society where people feel comfortable and have opportunities practicing that in person — like if we’re teaching this in schools and practicing it in real time, then that just becomes part of our toolkit for how to go about life,” Killam said.
The author also noted that while she was researching her book, she found that “hundreds of millions” of users were already using AI as a “friend, as a lover, as a husband, as a wife, as a boyfriend, [or] as a girlfriend.”
Recent research from app intelligence provider Appfigures found that AI companion mobile apps were seeing over 652% year-over-year revenue growth in 2024, attracting $55 million in consumer spending over the course of the year, for instance. The U.S. was the top market for these apps last year, accounting for 30.5% of total consumer spending.
“I have a lot of feelings about this,” Killam said. “On one hand, I’m concerned. I’m concerned that we have created a culture where people feel like they need to turn to AI for companionship. That’s concerning. On the other hand, I think that if it’s in addition to our in-person relationships … maybe that can be great.”
Killam agreed that AI chatbots like ChatGPT could be useful at times, but she recommended that these types of tools are best used as “part of our portfolio” of social health, not as a replacement for actual relationships.
“One of the core principles of social health is that it’s important to have diverse sources, meaning not just one. You don’t just socialize with your romantic partner and no one else. You have friends, you talk to co-workers, you chit-chat with the barista, and other people. And so if AI is one of those sources, I’m open to that.”
“Where it becomes a problem is when it becomes the only or one of the main sources.”
She also touched on other areas where technology intersects with social health, including its impact on the loneliness epidemic, our culture of “busyness,” and how people now spend time scrolling social media or listening to or watching media to kill time instead of talking to other people.
She suggested sometimes calling or texting a friend in your downtime, rather than immediately turning to technology to keep you entertained.
