When I was very young, I was very fortunate in the male role models that shaped my young life. My father and grandfathers were hard-working men. Dad was a farmer and, later, a quality engineer at the vast John Deere Waterloo Tractor Works. My paternal grandfather was a farmer and then a Ford mechanic, who made a good living throughout the Depression by keeping people’s old Model T’s and Model A’s on the road. My maternal grandfather was a farmer and a carpenter. Dad and Grandpa Clark were veterans — Dad of World War 2 and Grandpa Clark, a veteran of the Great War. All three men were strong, capable, independent, thrifty, productive, decisive, and tough — all of the laudable traits one expects of men. I like to think they inculcated those traits in me, as well, and as evidence of that, I offer the proposition that life out in the Alaska woods would be difficult without them.
They — and I — are also something of a lost breed these days, when we view a recent survey telling us that half — half — of modern men feel pressured to act “more manly.”
To that, I can only reply, “Suck it up, Buttercup.”
A survey of 2,000 men, half of whom are sexually active, found that 50% feel under pressure to perform masculinity and eight in 10 agree that there is a societal pressure for men to behave a certain way.
For nearly half, this pressure comes from expectations like knowing how to be “handy” around the house (49%), while others feel forced to act a certain way in front of others (48%) or have a specific body type (41%).
This may be holding men back from being their true selves, as 29% admitted that they wish they could embrace their feminine side more.
Oh, for the luvva Pete. For one thing, a man damn well should be handy around the house; as a famous Canadian philosopher (and man) once said, “If the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.” This is what men do: We reach things off the high shelves, we change tires, we mow the lawn, and yes, we suck it up and do whatever is necessary — no matter what that may be — to ensure our families are housed and fed. If that means taking a job nailing shingles on roofs or shoveling manure — or even going into politics — we do it, no matter what. As that great man Winston Churchill said:
“A man does what he must – in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures – and that is the basis of all human morality.
A man should have strength, both mental and physical. That physical strength should not be displayed during intimate moments, and should never be used to intimidate or threaten — unless the target is a teenage boy arriving to take one’s daughter out, in which case a little intimidation is called for. “Shrivel them at the outset,” I told my son-in-law, who now has a daughter of his own, “And they’ll stay shriveled all night.”
A man cares for his family, putting them before himself, above all. And a man, I might add, does these without endlessly whining about it. And on that topic, a man also knows it’s impolite to kiss and tell.
Nearly two-thirds of men agree that part of “being a man” means that there are some topics that are off-limits to talk about with anyone (62%).
According to respondents, the topics that hold the greatest stigma in society for men are emotional sensitivities (50%), sex lives (45%) and mental health (39%).
Consequently, 54% believe that their friendships with other men lack depth as they often struggle with talking about their feelings (37%) and sex lives (31%).
More than a quarter of respondents can’t even remember the last time they discussed their sex lives with male friends (27%), expressing that it’s made them feel awkward (31%) and anxious (17%).
Yes. There are times when the best thing to do is to keep your damn mouth shut, and a man ought to know where that line is. Nobody, man or woman, should be airing their personal business in public. That includes — especially — talking about those intimate moments between two people; those moments are nobody else’s business.
See Related: The Rise of the Passport Bro
Hold My Beer! Manly Men Proving Manliness May Live Shorter Lives
I think a lot of this seeming weakness boils down to purpose. There is nothing as detestable as a man with no purpose. And yet, Western society today seems to be churning out young men with no sense of purpose in great carload lots.
But consider this: As I’ve said repeatedly, I think we are entering the last phase of this cycle:
- Hard times make tough people.
- Tough people make good times.
- Good times make weak people.
- Weak people make hard times. (You are here.)
The men interviewed in this survey would seem to be classic examples of the weak people who are making hard times. So half of the men in this survey bemoan feeling like they need to “act more manly?” To them, I can only say this: You shouldn’t have to act. I can only admonish these snowflakes to cowboy up because, sooner or later, the real world is going to drop on them with a resounding thud.
This seems appropriate.
