Two walk-off wins. The first came on a wild pitch. The second came on a baseball thrown into the dugout. For years I’ve used the end of “Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown” as an analogy for these kinds of wins, but I’m going to switch it up and use a vintage Peanuts strip instead.
Violet: Did you give Charlie Brown a valentine?
Patty: Oh, yes. I finally gave him one of those real cheap ones.
Violet: Was he happy with it?
Patty: Sure. When you’re a Charlie Brown, you really don’t expect too much.
The use of “a” before Charlie Brown is part of Charles Schulz’s genius. Just that little extra and subtle dehumanization. When you’re a 2024 Giants fan, you really don’t expect too much. In the last panel in the comic strip about your week watching Giants baseball, you also have a big, goofy smile. Congrats. You’ve earned it.
The Giants were 3-3 last week. They’ve been 3-3, spiritually speaking, for about three years now. Here’s the week that was.
Warning: Blake Snell propaganda ahead
The Giants made a trade last week to acquire the 2023 National League Cy Young winner, Blake Snell. In his first two starts, he’s been fantastic, allowing two hits and zero runs in 12 innings. To make room on the active roster, the Giants designated Drake Snell for assignment. Drake is currently under investigation by the F.B.I. for impersonating his twin brother and cashing his paychecks. Good riddance.
Well, that’s what it feels like, anyway. It was probably just Blake Snell all along, but the evil-twin story seems more plausible. Either way, Snell was worth about -1.5 WAR before going on the IL, and he’s still sporting a negative WAR even after his two outstanding starts. A handful of pitchers who didn’t win the Cy Young last year have been worth about three or four wins in the first half, so even if you were conservative and pegged Snell for two wins to this point, that’s a three-win swing between Drake and Blake.
Three wins, eh? That’s the difference between the Giants being 47-50 and 50-47. It’s the difference between them trailing in the race for the third wild card and leading it. You could make the argument that the difference between the actual Blake Snell and his imposter is absolutely crucial to how you feel about the 2024 Giants in the first half. I’m making that argument right now. And it’s beyond encouraging that he finished the way he did. You can put one scoop of optimism into your second-half sundae, you can put two scoops, or you can let it melt on the counter, up to you.
Before you decide, I would like to present the nastiest example of each one of Snell’s pitches on Sunday.
Curveball
There were a lot of examples of perfect Snell curveballs on Sunday, and they were all little reminders that the pitch, at its best, might be the best individual pitch in baseball. I’m partial to this one because it was the first one that he threw to poor Matt Wallner after striking him out on four straight fastballs in the third inning and opening this at-bat with another fastball.
This is one of those pitches where the strike-zone overlay and circle don’t do it justice. You can see where catcher Patrick Bailey caught the ball, and that it’s a little low. But it sure looked like a strike about six inches before it got there. Probably because it was high enough to be a strike after 60 feet.
It was tough to choose between this one and the runner up, though, which was the final pitch Snell threw for the day.
If not for the base hit to lead off the inning, Snell would have stayed in to try for the perfect game. Based on his final pitch, it wouldn’t have been a bad idea.
Changeup
The best part about this pitch is that it would have been a called strike. I’m not sure if you’ll ever see a better executed changeup in a 0-1 count in a double-play situation. He got swings and misses with his other changeups, but he got two outs with this one, which was exactly what he needed to finish the seventh inning himself.
Fastball
If you’re more a fan of swinging strikes, you might prefer the fastballs he threw to poor Matt Wallner. The best part about this pitch is that it should have been a ball. When Snell throws a 97-mph fastball just off the edge and Bailey receives it like that, though, he’s going to get the call more often than not. It’s a perfect frame job that turned an imperfect pitch into a perfect one. Good luck with the other pitches if that’s how Snell is getting ahead.
(He also threw one pitch that was classified as a slider. It was a ball. Still looked nasty.)
For the first time since the initial excitement of the signing, you get it! We all get it! This is the Cy Young winner who was worth all the money and the loss of a draft pick! Snell’s timing — right before the break, and right before the draft — was perfect. It was the kind of display that he needed. It was the kind of display you needed. Turns out he might be really good for the Giants after all.
Heliot Ramos and the new homegrown All-Star curses
It’s a little upsetting to me that I have to stop mentioning that Chili Davis was the last homegrown outfielder to make the All-Star Game for the Giants. I love mentioning Chili Davis! I still have his Atari-sponsored bat that they gave out to celebrate the Giants’ 25th anniversary in San Francisco. His nickname is Chili. He was born in Jamaica. He was a switch-hitter, and he was awesome. He posed for one of the most amazing magazine covers in baseball history. We should be talking more about Chili Davis at all times, not less.
However, Ramos deserved the All-Star nod, and so we must move on. Here are the longest Giants All-Star droughts for every position now:
Catcher: Buster Posey, 2021
First base: Brandon Belt, 2016
Second base: Joe Panik, 2015
Shortstop: Brandon Crawford, 2021
Third base: Pablo Sandoval, 2012
Outfield: Heliot Ramos, 2024
Starting pitcher: Logan Webb, 2024
Reliever: Camilo Doval, 2023
None of these droughts have anything close to the gravitas of the Chili curse! This is a horrible development to people who get paid to perseverate on Giants history minutia. And by “people,” what I really mean is “the only person in the world.” Nobody is thinking about me in these situations.
But … hold on there. Do you see what we’re missing? The Giants have never had a homegrown designated hitter in the All-Star Game. Wow. We’re coming up on the 100-year anniversary of the All-Star Game, and they’ve never had a homegrown DH. Amazing. Don’t say things like, “Well, technically, the NL just got the designated hitter, so blah blah blah,” it’s close to a 100-year drought, and I’m focusing on this sucker now.
It’s a pale imitation, but it’s all I got.
One day, I hope to feel the same happiness that Michael Conforto felt while watching Mike Yastrzemski get ice poured on his head
Screenshots aren’t going to do it justice, but they’re all we have. Conforto freaking loved it when Heliot Ramos dumped ice on Yastrzemski’s head.
It made him so happy. He went down to a hands-on-knees pose because he loved the spectacle so much.
And he even held it for a couple seconds after that!
I know the 2024 Giants can be one of the most frustrating teams you’ve ever watched, but don’t forget that they’re also a bunch of goofy dudes who seem to like each other. When it works, it really works.
Home run of the week
Remember: We’re just looking for the prettiest home runs. Not the silliest or best timed. And I’m a sucker for a left-handers pulling home runs at Oracle Park.
The Giants hit six home runs last week, and this is the only one that would have been a homer in all 30 ballparks, according to Statcast. Here’s the runner-up, which apparently wouldn’t have been out at Camden Yards:
I’m thinking they overdid it with the new outfield configurations in Baltimore, to the point where I get to reference the only TikTok that matters. If Chapman’s homer isn’t out there, the Orioles need to have some serious conversations this offseason.
But it’s Yastrzemski by a nose. There wasn’t a ballpark that could hold it. Considering it went out at Oracle Park, you probably already knew that.
(Top photo of Snell: D. Ross Cameron / USA Today)
