For a majority of women, nurturing is an innate trait. We do it to our girlfriends; women who are mothers do it to their children, other people’s children, and on and on. A father can also provide nurture, but it does not present in the same way and can often be stunted due to limited or lack of fatherly involvement.
What makes some fathers more likely to be involved than others? A number of factors can determine a father’s success, including the following:
- The father’s own upbringing (including his relationship with his parents)
- His cultural history
- His biological history (such as mental illness, alcoholism, health)
- His characteristics (employment, age, personality, etc.)
- The mother’s characteristics
- Contextual factors (relationship with the mother, community connections, etc.)
- The child’s characteristics
Because the role of the father is less defined in Western society than the role of the mother, influences such as those listed above seem to have a more significant impact on how involved a father is.
This week’s Feel-Good Friday is about a man who overcame the deficit of fatherly involvement in his own life to become the “Internet’s Dad.” Tacoma, Washington’s South Sound magazine spoke to Rob Kenney, who has brought a fresh level of engagement and involvement, for kids of all ages who have a father hole in their lives.
Rob Kenney never imagined he would one day be known as “the internet’s dad,” let alone be a full-time YouTuber. On his YouTube channel, “Dad, How Do I?” the South Sound resident uploads practical “dadvice for everyday tasks.”
Kenney starts each video with a warm, “Hey, kids!” and proceeds to offer a short and simple how-to “task of the day,” such as how to tie a tie, do taxes, or make mashed potatoes.
The idea for the YouTube channel came years ago, but Kenney said he procrastinated until he was successfully encouraged by his daughter, Kristine, during the COVID lockdown to officially pursue it. Kenney uploaded his first video, “How to Tie a Tie,” on April 2, 2020. He expected it to reach between 30-40 people at most; instead, the video went viral. Comments were overwhelmed with gratitude, with many sharing personal stories about not having a father figure to teach them basic skills — tying a tie being one of them. It wouldn’t be long before people started referring to Kenney as “the internet’s dad.”
“I was trying to boil it down into some nuggets for people so they could come in, and I wouldn’t waste their time. They just come in and learn how to do things,” Kenney told South Sound recently. “I wasn’t planning to do it to switch careers; I didn’t do it for anything other than just (a) sincere desire to help people.”
As many of you know, I can relate, having navigated the first part of my life without a father’s influence. I would have done better with a Kenney-type hand, especially those from his “Wisdom Wednesday” segments on everything from finding your “Why,” to “You Have to Start,” to finances. It’s really great stuff, presented in memorable, bite-sized segments. Kenney’s own father left their family when he was 14, so he understands many of the things young people growing up without a father struggle with.
“There’s so much more to being a dad than running around and fixing things,” Kenney said in a video segment for News Nation (scroll down to watch it below). Kenney also talked about his process of healing that father hole, and how he had to learn to forgive.
“I think the forgiveness piece is such a big part,” he said of his videos. “I would love for people to be able to forgive, even though it’s difficult. Way too many of us spend time holding things against each other which is wasted energy, in my opinion. … Forgiving my dad was one thing, but the daily act of being able to forgive is still human. And so, I struggle with it, and I heed my own advice.”
That’s fatherly advice that we can all relate to and use.
Kenney started his YouTube channel in 2020, and it has grown to 4.8 million subscribers. He has also written a book,
[T]o be faithful. I think there’s much more that can be done, but I just want to do what God would have me do.
[…]
I think if I can encourage dads to the cool responsibility of being a dad, that’s part of it, too. But also teach people how to do things so they can then teach others.
