Welcome to the third round of Literary Hub’s inaugural Ides of March Madness bracket:
The Best Villains in Literature.Article continues after advertisement
We’re halfway through voting and things are really starting to heat up. A lot of big losses in round two, with even bigger villains getting knocked out. One of our top seeds, Blood Meridian’s Judge Holden, lost to scary clown Pennywise, a pretty shocking upset if you ask me. Tom Ripley was finally out-manipulated by Lady Macbeth — if anyone was going to take down Tom, I’m glad it was her. Richard III, who I thought was going to go farther, lost to Atwood’s Commander, who’s been a surprising underdog — though it makes sense that The Handmaid’s Tale is on people’s minds these days. You can see how the rest of yesterday’s voting broke down over on our round two post.
A lot of our staff brackets have been thoroughly busted, but the voting has led to some very interesting match-ups today, and a lot of great writers of villainy are still in the mix: Shakespeare, Orwell, King.
The Manipulative Bastards corner is especially interesting, with a big Shakespeare showdown between Iago and Lady Macbeth. Who will out the other’s damn spot? Who will from this round forth, never speak word?
Also in that category: Humbert Humbert vs Hannibal Lector, two guys who might seem a placid and collected on the surface, but are roiling cesspools within.
I’m watching Dracula vs. Sauron, two unearthly ghouls who would both probably have great Architectural Digest spreads about their castles. And there’s a clash between two different visions of fascist pig: The Commander vs. Animal Farm’s Napoleon.
And when you’re done voting, we’ve started sharing some staff reflections on favorite villains, starting with Woland and Randall Flagg.
Who will make it to the next round tomorrow? Voting is now open for round three!
Check out the updated bracket and start voting below:
[Click for a zoom-enabled version]
Rules
You may be wondering: What makes a villain “best”? That, friends, is really up to you. You can vote for the most iconic villains, the most memorable villains, or the most villainous villains. You can vote for the villain you enjoyed reading about the most, or the one that kept you up at night. You can vote for the cutest villain, if that’s your thing. The point is, there are no rules. Villains are rule-breakers, and so are we.
But that said, everyone likes a little bit of structure, so to start with, we’ve separated our villains into four “types”: Authority Figures, Manipulative Bastards, Monsters & Boogeymen, and Anti-Villains. Once we get a winner from each group, they’ll go head to monstrous head.
Voting Schedule
Ignoble Round of 64: Voting open now until Sunday, March 9th at 7:00 PM EST
Round of 32 Assholes: Voting open now, from 10:00 AM – 7:00 PM EST
on Monday, March 10th
Not-So-Sweet 16: Voting open from 10:00 AM – 7:00 PM EST on Tuesday, March 11th
The Hateful 8: Voting open from 10:00 AM – 7:00 PM EST on Wednesday, March 12th
The Drawn and Quarter Finals: Voting open from 10:00 AM – 7:00 PM EST on Thursday, March 13th
The Final Showdown: Voting open until Sunday, March 16th at 7:00 PM EST on Friday, March 14th
And the Best Villain In Literature will be announced on Monday, March 17th!
How To Vote
Same as before: simply select the villain you think should advance, and we’ll tabulate the votes tonight.
(The C-suite psychos.)
O’BRIEN (1) vs. NURSE RATCHED (5)
(1) O’Brien (George Orwell, 1984)
Our top seed for authoritarians is this extremely memorable villain from one of the most widely read books about villainy. Orwell’s O’Brien combines all the worst villains from the real world into one of the nastiest guys in literature: he’s a fascist, a boss, and a snitch all rolled into one, a sort-of fascist Megazord, if you will.
Weapon of Choice: Lying, Rodents, Party-Members-Only Wine
Grim Prediction: “If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face—forever.”
2+2: 5
Read: 75 Years of 1984: Why George Orwell’s Classic Remains More Relevant Than Ever and George Orwell’s 1984 is Always Just Around the Corner
vs.
(5) Nurse Ratched (Ken Kesey, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest)
Is Nurse Ratched a villain because of the corrupting pressures of the institution she’s a part of? Or would she be a villainous tyrant wherever she ended up? It’s a real chicken-and-egg situation – though no matter which came first, they’ll both end up in the same psych ward cafeteria frittata.
Maintains Tyrannical Control With: Drugs, Shock Therapy, Wicker Basket of Horrors
Technique: “… [she] taught him not to show his hate and to be calm and wait, wait for a little advantage, a little slack, then twist the rope and keep the pressure steady.”
Electroshocks Administered: At least 5
Read: Literary villains who were actually just suffering from burnout.
THE COMMANDER (14) vs. NAPOLEON (2)
(14) The Commander (Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale)
There are some novels that you wish the world could emulate more — The Handmaid’s Tale is one I wish would stop being so relevant. The Commander is a true and complete bastard, who is addicted to his patriarchal power — he isn’t content with his authority as the unquestioned head of household, he also bends Gilead’s rules to create more ways to control and abuse the women in his life.
Patriarchy’s Tools: Scrabble Boards, Privilege
Bad Justification: “You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs, is what he says.”
Number of Real-Life Villains He’s Similar To: Far Too Many
Read: The Handmaid’s Tale Adapts More Than the Novel: Here is America
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(2) Napoleon (George Orwell, Animal Farm)
The most famous animal authoritarian of all time (unless you have some harsh notes for how Big Bird is behaving). The great socialist writer George Orwell spent his entire career asking questions of power, none more important than, “What if a pig were like Stalin?” It doesn’t turn out well, as it turns out.
Levers of Animal Power: Repression, Canine Secret Police, Rewriting History
Fawning Description: “Napoleon was now never spoken of simply as “Napoleon.” He was always referred to in formal style as “our Leader, Comrade Napoleon,” and this pigs liked to invent for him such titles as Father of All Animals, Terror of Mankind, Protector of the Sheep-fold, Ducklings’ Friend, and the like.”
Legs Walked On: 4, then 2
Read: Life in Interesting Times: What Orwell Can (and Can’t) Teach Us
(Don’t go to their dinner parties.)
IAGO (1) vs. LADY MACBETH (5)
(1) Iago (William Shakespeare, Othello)
Iago is high up on our list, and an all time manipulative bastard. The first guy to claim that he wore his heart on his sleeve was actually scheming up a storm for no discernible reason—a truly two-faced man. If you ever cringe thinking about the relationship drama you got into in your twenties, rest easy there wasn’t an Iago in your friend group.
Manipulates With: Fatal Workplace Gossip, Handkerchiefs
Wicked Aside: “That thinks men honest that but seem to be so,/And will as tenderly be led by the nose/As asses are.”
Manipulation Count: Contrives at least 3 fights and 1 demotion
Read: Poison in the Ear: Why Iago is the Ultimate Thriller Character
vs.
(5) Lady Macbeth (William Shakespeare, Macbeth)
In a grouping full of eloquent operators, Lady Macbeth is one of the most well-spoken — even overwhelmed by guilt, she’s quotable and convincing. But in the end, it’s her own conscience that gets the best of her — she’s so good at manipulation, that she even manipulates herself.
Lady Macdeath’s Weapons: Drugs for Possets, A Silver Tongue, Quick Apologies for Your Husband’s Ghost Fears
Queenly Quotes: “Hie thee hither,/That I may pour my spirits in thine ear;/And chastise with the valour of my tongue”
Damned Spots Outed: 0, alas
Read: Blood on the Big Screen: A Lady Macbeth Who Does the Killing
HANNIBAL LECTER (3) vs. HUMBERT HUMBERT (2)
(3) Hannibal Lecter (Thomas Harris, Red Dragon, The Silence of the Lambs, etc.)
When we were putting this list together, we knew immediately that Dr. Lecter would be a top seed. What other villain could turn Fava beans into a scary line? Though real Harris-heads know the famous meal in the book is served with Fava beans and Amarone—not Chianti.
Fillets With: His Memory Palace, Big Culinary Choices
Boiling Him Down: “He’s a monster. I think of him as one of those pitiful things that are born in hospitals from time to time. They feed it, and keep it warm, but they don’t put it on the machines and it dies. Lecter is the same way in his head, but he looks normal and nobody could tell.”
Menu of Victims: 28 killed, 7 eaten
Read: Hannibal Lecter: 20 Years Later; The Silence of the Lambs: The Seminal Serial Killer Novel, and Still the Best
vs.
(2) Humbert Humbert (Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita)
Surely the most eloquent pedophile ever to be immortalized on the page, a delusional, obsessive, disgusting, but ultimately tragic figure, who can swirl up a thousand pretty, if not remotely convincing, reasons why it’s definitely okay for him to have sex with his twelve-year-old step-daughter. He’s so awful that you hate yourself a little for marveling at him. And yet!
Call Him If You Enjoy: Long Road Trips, Rape Plots, Sedatives, Objectification
Giving it Away on Page 1: “You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style.”
Ludicrous Narrative Accidents Caused : 1
Read: From Nabokov to Erdrich: Reading Complex Portraits of Criminality; The Pure Pleasure of Reading Lolita‘s First 100 Pages; Lolita: From Transgressive Lit to Pop Iconography
(They’re not from around here.)
PENNYWISE/IT (8) vs. KURTZ (5)
(8) Pennywise/It (Stephen King, It)
It is an interdimensional alien malevolence with nearly limitless powers, but mostly known as Pennywise The Dancing Clown — I imagine It feels a lot like the band Oasis, bitter about the one hit song that made them famous. Because It isn’t just a clown, It has tons of other, equally frightening forms: flying leeches, a blood fountain, swirling lights that make you insane, and more. A reminder that even villains that live to eat kids can contain multitudes.
Weapon of Choice: Shapeshifting, Knowing Exactly What You Fear Most
Looks Scary: “And George saw the clown’s face change. What he saw then was terrible enough to make his worst imaginings of the thing in the cellar look like sweet dreams; what he saw destroyed his sanity in one clawing stroke.”
Next Year Pennywise Should Return: ~2040
Read: Hanging Out with Pennywise and My Grandmother’s Ghost and The Literature of Creepy Clowns
vs.
(5) Kurtz (Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness)
A thoroughly evil man, Kurtz uses a mandate from a colonizing corporation to fashion himself as a mad demigod who rules over a cruel African outpost. Conrad’s novella was based on his own experiences on a Belgian steamer, and Kurtz is likely an amalgam of various violent Europeans who terrorized Africa—he’s one of literature’s most indelible sociopaths.
Weapon of Choice: Exploitative Colonial Capitalism, Monologues
Famous Last Words: “The horror! The horror!”
Kilometers He’s Hidden Himself Up River: >65
Read: “Invasion is a Structure Not an Event.” On Settler Colonialism and Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness
SAURON (3) vs. COUNT DRACULA (2)
(3) Sauron (J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings)
The Lidless Eye, The Monster from Mordor, The Rascal with the Rings—Sauron’s the all-seeing Orcs’ mate you love to hate. As readers, we’re told very little about Sauron’s appearance and we never meet him, but we see his presence everywhere. He’s a pervasive evil influence corrupting Middle Earth, a hazy darkness with vast influence. The one thing he seems incapable of doing, though, is holding onto jewelry—take off your all-powerful rings before a swordfight, dude! It’s like swimming with your wedding ring on: don’t do it!
His Horde Includes: Nazgûl, Uruks, Easterlings, Haradrim, Trolls, Tolkein Nerds Correcting Factual Inaccuracies in Articles Like This One
The Eye Gazes on Thee: “Its wrath blazed like a sudden flame and its fear was like a great black smoke, for it knew its deadly peril, the thread upon which hung its doom.”
Rings To Rule Them All: 1
Read: “There’s no invention in the void.” Read a letter from J.R.R. Tolkien on the origins of Middle-earth.
vs.
(2) Count Dracula (Bram Stoker, Dracula)
The king of vampires is, of course, right near the top of our monster seeding, and I suspect that the Count’s influence, renown, and spookiness are going to take him far in the tournament. It’s hard to overstate just how iconic this character is: can you imagine our culture without charismatic bloodsuckers? Stoker’s novel set the template: What starts as an innocent international real estate deal gets quickly out of hand as Dracula arrives in London and makes life hell for a Victorian polycule and a poor young man who just wants to eat bugs.
Veapons Ov Choice: Transformation, Neck Biting, 50 Boxes of Dirt
First Sign of Trouble: “But my very feelings changed to repulsion and terror when I saw the whole man slowly emerge from the window and begin to crawl down the castle wall over that dreadful abyss, face down with his cloak spreading out around him like great wings.”
Victims: ~15
Read: The 52 Best, Worst, and Strangest Draculas of All Time, Ranked
(Fell in with the wrong crowd.)
SATAN (1) vs. JAVERT (4)
(1) Satan (John Milton, Paradise Lost)
Is evil incarnate just a misunderstood bad boy? Our top seed in the anti-villains category is the Western embodiment of wickedness, whom Milton treated with more depth of character and contradiction than anyone else in his poem. Milton’s Satan is still a fallen angel who corrupts Adam and Eve with sin, but as readers, we feel his alienation and frustrations. It turns out even Satan struggles with big decisions.
Weapon of Choice: Army of Fallen Angels, Apples
Reasoning: “Here we may reign secure, and in my choice/to reign is worth ambition though in Hell:/Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven.”
Number of Furies Fierce As: 10
Read: Satanic Sympathies: On the Demon Depictions That Helped Jamie Quarto Write Two-Step Devil
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(4) Javert (Victor Hugo, Les Miserables)
On the D&D alignment chart, Inspector Javert is Lawful Neutral: he believes what he’s doing is right and correct, because, well, it’s the law! How could upholding the law be villainous? Even when you’re bending over backward to obsessively hunt down a man who broke his parole after serving hard time for stealing a loaf of bread to feed his starving family. After all, that man is a criminal. He can’t be also a good person. Because if he is a good person . . . what kind of person is Javert?
Weapon of Choice: Justice
ACAB: “Javert had been born in prison, of a fortune-teller, whose husband was in the galleys. As he grew up, he thought that he was outside the pale of society, and he despaired of ever re-entering it. He observed that society unpardoningly excludes two classes of men,—those who attack it and those who guard it; he had no choice except between these two classes; at the same time, he was conscious of an indescribable foundation of rigidity, regularity, and probity, complicated with an inexpressible hatred for the race of bohemians whence he was sprung. He entered the police; he succeeded there. At forty years of age he was an inspector.”
Jean Valjeans Identified: 2
Read: Inspector Javert: The Archetypal Cop with an Obsession
GOLLUM (11) vs. MEDEA (10)
(11) Gollum (J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings)
At the risk of sounding like a terrible ‘90s comic whining about marriage: Gollum’s not inherently a bad guy, he’s just been corrupted by a ring. And not to mention that he’s named after the horrible sound his throat makes — mortifying! Imagine being named for your worst physical tic? No wonder Gollum got so bitter and villainous.
Tools of Lurking: Eating Fish Horribly, His Precious
Vow: “Thief, Thief, Thief! Baggins! We hates it, we hates it, we hates it forever!”
Age At The Time of The Ring’s Destruction: ~600
Read: Is The Lord of the Rings a Work of Modernism?
vs.
(10) Medea (Euripides, Medea)
Before Gone Girl and all the country songs about keying your ex’s pickup, there was Medea, taking charge in a man’s cruel world. Like others in the anti-villain division, Medea takes her revenge too far, but the target of her anger – her unfaithful Argonaut husband – definitely deserves it.
Weapon of Choice: Robe & Crown Poison, Big Knife
Vengeance Vowed: “…and, lo, he sets me free/This one long day: wherein mine haters three/Shall lie here dead, the father and the bride/And husband—mine, not hers!”
Place in Athens’ Dionysia Festival Competition: 3rd
Read: How Ancient Tales Became a Rallying Cry for Modern Women
Thanks for voting! See you in the next round!
