In real estate, the temptation to talk is constant. You want to showcase your expertise, highlight market trends, and reassure clients that you have everything under control. But sometimes you need so stop talking – and start listening.
Or as author Dan Lyons puts it, “sometimes the best thing you can do is shut up.”
Dan, author of STFU: The Power of Keeping Your Mouth Shut in an Endlessly Noisy World, argues that too many professionals, real estate agents included, talk too much and listen too little.
“A great conversation is about listening. And it probably involves you talking less,” he tells Think Fast, Talk Smart podcast host Matt Abrahams.
That might feel counterintuitive, especially in an industry where communication is everything. But Dan’s research shows that successful communicators aren’t the ones who dominate conversations; they’re the ones who master the art of active listening.
The best agents know when to pause, when to let a client process, and when to ask the right questions rather than just delivering a sales pitch.
Are you a ‘Talkaholic’?
Dan confesses that his own habit of over-talking led him to research talkaholism, a term coined in the ’90s to describe people who can’t help but speak, even when it’s against their own best interests. Sound familiar? Ever sat in a listing presentation and realised halfway through that you’ve been talking for 20 minutes straight without letting the seller get a word in?
Dan suggests simple strategies for overcoming the need to fill silence with unnecessary chatter. One of his go-to techniques?
“When possible, say nothing.” He explains: “You’re in a client meeting, and you feel the urge to explain every detail of the market in one breath. But if you resist that urge, you create space for the client to engage, to ask their own questions, which makes them feel heard and builds trust.”
Silence equals sales power
Top agents already know the power of silence. When negotiating a deal, saying nothing after making an offer forces the other side to respond. When a buyer hesitates, staying quiet can help them work through their own doubts without pressure. And when a client is making a major decision, giving them breathing room lets them feel in control rather than feeling sold to.
This isn’t just theory, it’s backed by science. Dan highlights research by psychologist Matthias Mehl, who found that meaningful conversations (which involve more listening than talking) lead to greater happiness and even stronger immune systems. In real estate, this translates to deeper client relationships, increased referrals, and ultimately, more closed deals.
How to handle over-talkers
Of course, real estate agents don’t just have to control their own talking, they also have to manage talkative clients, business partners, and colleagues.
“If someone is a chronic interrupter, set a ground rule upfront: ‘I want to make sure we fully understand your goals, so let’s take turns going through everything step by step.’”
Another trick? Positive reinforcement. “If a client gives you a clear, concise response, acknowledge it: ‘That was really helpful – thank you for explaining that so clearly.’ This subtly encourages them to stay on track,” Dan explains.
Master the art of less talk, more action
In real estate, power isn’t about having the loudest voice in the room, it’s about knowing when to let silence do the heavy lifting.
Dan points to leaders like Barack Obama and Steve Jobs, who mastered the ability to hold silence for impact. “Powerful people always say less than they need to,” he says.
So, the next time you’re in a listing presentation, a negotiation, or even a casual chat with a potential client, Dan says, ask yourself: Am I talking because I need to, or because I want to?
Because in this business, sometimes the best way to close a deal is to let the other person do the talking.
