The Supreme Court will consider the arguments made in US v. Skrmetti on Wednesday, deciding whether the Tennessee Law restricting “gender-affirming care” for minors is constitutional. Of all the discussions surrounding the hearing, the most controversial, Daily Wire’s Matt Walsh, has gained significant media attention. Speaking at the Stop the Harm rally, Walsh insisted, “There’s no such thing as a ‘trans kid’ … Those kids are confused, and their confusion has been exploited by quacks and abusers. They are abuse victims.” He is right.
I say this as a transgender person myself who survived gender dysphoria and grew into an adult man, one who sees the horrors of what could have been. I have written extensively on this topic, detailing my story in “Surviving Gender: My Journey Through Gender Dysphoria,” and I have always come back to the same argument: At no time in my childhood was I ever capable of deciding who I would be as an adult.
I was the victim of severe sexual trauma at a very young age and began displaying feminine qualities soon after. I frequently expressed to my grandmother how I longed to be a girl, to be beautiful like she was, and to escape what seemed like the endless torment of masculine demands. I hated being a boy more than anything else in my life. It was a daily struggle defined by depression, self-harm, and relentless anxiety.
LGBTQ activists would say all I needed then was love and acceptance. A mother of a trans-identifying teenager expressed to a reporter at the hearing, “It’s magical when children are allowed to be themselves. They thrive. They can live beautiful, amazing lives.” The freedom to be myself. As a child, what did that mean for me? I wanted to dress like a girl, play with the girls at school, and be allowed to escape the impossible expectations of being a boy.
That’s what I wanted, and I said as much to anyone who would listen. I believed if I could just convince an adult in my life that I wasn’t a boy, not really, maybe they would leave me alone and let me enjoy being a girl — at least, what I imagined being a girl must have been like. To me, girls were free, adored, magical, and always happy. Boys were angry, violent, restricted, and mean.
The despair I felt was profound, and I truly believed the answer was simple. If I were a girl, everything would be better, easier, and safer. As I got older, the separation between myself, the boys, and, ironically, the girls grew wider, and I found myself as an odd other. My feminine nature would soon shift as I went through puberty and emerged as a gay teenager.
The desire to be a girl never left me, though. Where it once represented safety and freedom, it now promised access to male affection and desirability. As I entered adulthood, the growing obsession with my body became overwhelming when I stumbled upon the knowledge that a person could change their sex. I learned of this as I explored becoming a drag queen.
I could never quite get any of it right, though. Dressing like a girl seemed to only introduce more confusion and distress. When I looked in the mirror, I did not see a girl; I only saw myself looking ridiculous. By the time I turned 21, I had been vocally fixated on wanting to pursue a sex change. I was introduced to an older transgender woman in her 50s who would forever change my life.
This man, who began living as a woman in his late 30s after a career as a drag queen, told me what no one else had by that point. Despite the documentaries and movies promising a fulfilling life, finally at peace, he told me the truth. He said, “You’ll spend the rest of your life asking yourself why you gave up being a cute but insecure gay man and trapped yourself in the body of someone who kind of looks like a woman.”
No amount of makeup or clothing would change what I knew to be true and if I didn’t believe it, how would anyone else accept it? Did I want to spend the rest of my life fighting to convince the world I was someone I could never be? He said, “It’s fake. You will know it’s fake; everyone will know. You’ll just pretend, and so will they. You will need the whole world to believe, but you never will.”
My heart sank, but I pushed on, seeing therapist after therapist who all challenged me to truly think about what I was fantasizing would fix everything. I would always return back to that kind man’s words. He was right.
As I moved into my mid-20s, the anxiety, obsession, and longing slowly faded, and I became focused on building my life rather than salvaging my past. I accepted what I could not change. I realized my body was never the problem. I still imagined what being a woman would be like, but it became less important. I would get married to a man and build a fulfilling life as a man myself, even if I never quite mastered masculinity.
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I wasn’t a “trans” child. There was nothing wrong with my body, nothing medically different. I wasn’t somehow supernaturally a girl inside a boy’s body. I wasn’t in the “wrong” body. I was a kid struggling to process sexual trauma. I didn’t fit in, and I wanted to. I wanted to be normal like all the other kids. I just didn’t think I could do that as a boy.
Imagine if my body had been artificially prevented from developing and then forced to adapt to cross-sex hormones. Had I resembled a girl, would that have resolved my trauma? Dependent on hormones and cosmetic surgery, would I ever have been, as the activists say, “myself”?
I just needed to grow up. I needed the opportunity to live and decide for myself what risks I was willing to take. I needed to be told the truth and not sold a fantasy. Far too many kids just like me are denied that choice today. The people imposing this onto them may believe they are doing the right thing, but they are stealing their futures.
When Walsh said at that rally, “To the trans activists over there claiming this is all about the rights of children, I say, yes, you’re right, it is. They have a right to be protected from YOU.” He was right. The insecurities and beliefs of adults should not override the choices of those who haven’t been given the chance to grow up and decide for themselves.
Trans ideology is a belief system that a person can defy nature. It argues that children are somehow gifted with psychic awareness of their “true selves,” and some know they are the opposite sex. They demand these children must have a life-changing decision made on their behalf to solve this otherwise completely invisible problem.
Jace Woodrum, an executive director for the ACLU and a trans-identifying person, argued at the rally that “Preserving access to transition therapy would protect transgender adolescents, who have high rates of depression, suicidal thoughts, and self-harm. Some evidence suggests that puberty blockers and hormones, in the short-term, could improve their mental health.” But all it is really doing is giving them false hope that they will find peace and meaning through appearance and artificial lives. I believe, mostly to convince themselves they made the right choice.
Despite the controversy and the outrage, Matt Walsh is right. Trans ideology must be defeated. Not only because of the lives it steals, but also the lies it convinces truly vulnerable people to embrace. I am grateful every day when I look in the mirror that I never made that choice. I believe every child just like me should have that same opportunity. This fight is just beginning, and it is one that impacts all of us. I know better than most, and it is the defining battle of our generation.
