AJ McLean was feeling concerned about his friend Liam Payne a day before his tragic death.
The Backstreet Boys singer, 46, texted Payne, “Hey man, are you good?” according to McLean’s recent interview with the Los Angeles Times published on Friday, November 1.
McLean told the publication that he decided to reach out to Payne after not speaking with him for nearly two weeks. The duo formed a close friendship on the set of the upcoming Netflix series, Building the Band. (The future of the series currently remains undecided following Payne’s unexpected death.)
According to McLean, he talked to Payne via WhatsApp frequently — the pair bonding over their struggles with substance abuse.
“[We spoke] candidly about sobriety, sharing stories and one-upping each other. We could laugh about it all,” McLean reflected. “Because if you’re still there to talk about it, that means you’re moving in a good direction.”
News broke last month that Payne fell to his death from a third-floor balcony in Buenos Aires. He was 31. A preliminary autopsy revealed that Payne suffered from multiple “severe” injuries. It was also reported that Payne had pink cocaine — which is a mix of methamphetamine, ketamine and MDMA — and other drugs in his system.
“I can torture my brain about ‘Why didn’t he respond?’ But I get it,” McLean continued. “I just hope people remember him the way he was — a massive heart and a massive talent.”
McLean said he felt like a “very older brother” to Payne and wanted to be there for him.
“He was an absolute light, such an old soul,” McLean said of Payne. “But you could tell you were talking to someone who had seen some s—, who had not lived a normal life.”
As more details about Payne’s death are revealed, McLean shared he’s not sure if the world will ever know exactly what the One Direction singer was going through leading up to his passing.
“I feel like there will never be a definitive answer as to why this happened. That’s the most painful thing to sit with. Why now? Why this way?” he said. “But there’s no rhyme or reason when you’re hurting and looking for escape.”
After learning about Payne’s death in October, McLean shared he couldn’t “fathom” losing his friend.
“Liam was a friend. We had just finished filming a TV show together,” McLean told TMZ in October. “We spent six weeks together, and you know, it’s absolutely tragic. I’m still processing it, I’m sure as well as his family and friends and bandmates. It’s absolutely tragic, and my thoughts and prayers go out to everyone — the family, his bandmates, to the fans.
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).