Elliot Page had his first experience at a gay bar just three months before “Juno” changed his entire life.
The actor, who is one of Hollywood’s most prominent transgender talents, opens up in his forthcoming memoir about being on the “precipice” of self-discovery before fame forced him into the closet following the film’s 2007 release.
In the opening chapter of “Page Boy,” published in People on Thursday, he explains how the night out “was the first time I had been to a gay bar and would be my last for a long time.”
Just 20 at the time, Page describes his struggle with his identity, saying, “Shame had been drilled into my bones since I was my tiniest self, and I struggled to rid my body of that old toxic and erosive marrow.”
He found those emotions melt away while on the dance floor with his date, Paula.
“There was a joy in the room,” Page writes. “It lifted me, forced a reaction in the jaw, an uncontrolled, steady smile.”
Feeling freed from the “antagonizing, cruel voice that flooded my head whenever I felt desire,” he kissed his date.
“Maybe for a second, I could allow myself pleasure,” the “Inception” actor writes, later adding, “Here I was on the precipice. Getting closer to my desires, my dreams, me, without the unbearable weight of the self-disgust I’d carried for so long.”
“But a lot can change in a few months,” he continues. “And in a few months, ‘Juno’ would premiere.”
Page shot to superstardom after the 2007 release of “Juno,” in which he played a pregnant teenage girl.
While the role kicked off his career, the actor told Esquire in 2022 that he endured “intense depression, anxiety, and severe panic attacks” during those early days due to gender dysphoria.
Assigned female at birth, Page came out as a lesbian in 2014. In December 2020, he announced he was transgender and uses he/they pronouns.
He explained the importance of telling queer stories while announcing “Page Boy” in December 2022.
“The act of writing, reading, and sharing the multitude of our experiences is an important step in standing up to those who wish to silence and harm us,” he wrote. “Books have helped me, saved me even, so I hope this can help someone feel less alone, feel seen, no matter who they are or what path they are on.”
“Page Boy” comes out June 6. Read the full chapter at People.
