Tiffany Haddish names her pets after things she wishes she could have more of. Namely, sleep.
Her dog Sleeper and cats Sleepy and Catonic (whom she adopted from the set of the cat-themed movie “Keanu”) make her house in L.A.’s Crenshaw district a home. That and her underwear. “I’ve spent six months here or there doing movies, but my animals and my underwear, my trophies, everything’s in L.A.,” she says.
After bouncing around foster homes across SoCal throughout her childhood, the comedian has made a permanent home of South Central L.A. “South Central is the safest place to live, geographically,” said Haddish, who has invested in property in the area and others across L.A. County. “Everything I buy in Los Angeles County, I pay attention to fault lines. South Central is the safest place to be when it comes to floods, natural disasters, fires. I own property in other states, but I don’t live there. I’m housing foster youth.”
Haddish, who recently produced and appears in the Vice docuseries “Black Comedy in America” (now available for streaming on Philo), says her perfect Sunday would be spent indoors in solitude. “I normally spend my Sundays in praise and worship and rest,” said Haddish, who is of Jewish-Eritrean heritage. “I cook and I sleep and I try to refrain from being around a bunch of people because I’m always around a bunch of people. I would prefer to stay in bed all day and read my Torah, cook and watch cartoons. That’s what I’d prefer.”
But if forced outdoors, the comedian’s dream Sunday would begin with movement followed by stops for shrimp and barbecue.
This interview has been lightly edited and condensed for length and clarity.
7 a.m.: Hike at Kenneth Hahn Park
I’ll do this probably once every other month, but I like to start at Kenneth Hahn Park and then continue that hike across the MRT [Mark Ridley-Thomas] Bridge all the way to Marina del Rey. You can walk all the way to Marina del Rey, which is really freaking dope. And then while I’m taking that walk, I’ll stop at a fruit truck that has smoothies right off of Jefferson. I’ll stop there, get something from that truck, continue on my walk and take that all the way to the marina.
It takes like two to three hours, depending on how fast you’re walking. I’ll start in the morning and then by the time I get to the place, it’ll be three hours gone by. Then I’ll either get one of them Lime scooters and scoot back home or walk back. So it’ll be like a whole day of walking. Or I’ll jump in an Uber and come home.
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7 a.m.: Kickstart the day with a barre class
I hate going to the gym because people feel like they need to talk to you or guide you through your workout. Or are trying to take pictures or film you while you’re doing it. At Pure Barre, everybody’s working out at the same damn time so you don’t have time to grab your phone and take pictures. People don’t bother me there, it’s a full-body workout and it’s only 50 minutes. And your body looks phenomenal. It’s a good-ass workout.
If I go to class early, I’ll get the pastrami from Subway and let that sit in the refrigerator until 1 o’clock. Unless I’ve got business meetings all day, then I won’t get it at all. But that’s my treat to myself.
I intermittent fast, so I don’t eat [between the hours of 8 p.m. and 1 p.m.]. So I’ll be starving until 1 o’clock. There’s no limits on the meals between 1 p.m. and 8 p.m., it’s whatever my stomach can handle. Put that in the article: “unlimited meals until 8.”
2 p.m.: Refuel with shrimp and sides
On Sundays, it’s Mel’s Fish Shack or D’s Original Takeout Grill. [At Mel’s] I get the red snapper and shrimp combo dinner with potato salad and collard greens. Always. I used to get the crab soup all the time, but they stopped making it because they said it got too expensive to make.
[At D’s] I’ll either get the brisket dinner or the barbecue shrimp. And he makes this gumbo that’s fire, usually on Sundays.
Most of the time, though, I’m flying back in on a Sunday morning, so then I’ll stop at LAX Tacos whenever I get off the plane because they’ve got the best tacos in all of Los Angeles. Especially their shrimp tacos — fire!
4 p.m.: Pit stop at the District
The District, right off of Crenshaw, they’ve got this fried lobster that’ll make you want to slap your mother! All the food at the District is fire. The drinks are good on a Sunday, but I like to go usually on a Wednesday or Tuesday because they have live bands there. But see, I’m not doing that all the time, because you’ve definitely got to be prepared to be social. And every time I go there, I run into somebody from my past. I’m like, “Am I ready for a reunion?” Which is fine when it’s somebody cool; it’s not OK when it’s your ex.
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4 p.m.: Day date at Alta Adams
Sundays in the summertime, Alta Adams has that outdoor patio and I think they have discounts on drinks on Sundays. I don’t drink no more, so I don’t know about that, but I do be sitting out on the patio in the summertime, especially if I’m going on a date or something. I’ll do like a day date, a before-the-sun-sets date — “pick me up at 4 or I’ll meet you at 5.” And then I can be home by 8, 9 o’clock.
8 p.m.: Relax at home
In my house, I’ll be literally reading scripts, writing jokes, writing movies, in my garden. And then if I’m ready to watch something, I’ll watch cartoons: “Thundercats,” “Strawberry Shortcake,” “Family Guy,” “American Dad,” “Big Mouth.” I watch “Solar Opposites” because I only get the pages for my scenes, so I don’t really know what’s going on in the show. So I’ll watch like, “This is crazy.” And I like “South Park.” I love a good throwback. “Ninja Turtles”? I’ll be happy as hell. “Snorks.” I love cartoons because I know no one’s actually getting hurt. I feel like a lot of these shows, you’ll be hearing back stories about people’s stuff and be like, goddamn.
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8 p.m.: Comedy set to end the night
Sunday night, I’ll do a comedy show. My favorite venue in L.A. is the Laugh Factory. But on a Sunday, I’ll probably be at the Improv or the Comedy Store, or in a theater. It hasn’t come across my table to be at the Laugh Factory, even though that’s my favorite club and I’ve invested in it. Never on a Sunday.
